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Blurb: Vivian Chastain is an adrenaline addicted veteran transitioning to civilian life in Sacramento, California.
She settles into a new routine while she finishes up college and works as a bartender, covering up her
intense anxiety with fake bravado and swagger. All Vivian wants is peace and quiet, but her whole
trajectory changes when she stumbles upon a heinous crime in progress, and has to fight for her life to
While recovering from the fight, she falls in love with someone who is tall in stature but short on
emotional intelligence, and this toxic union provides Vivian the relationship that she thinks she needs.
Given Vivian’s insecurities and traumatic past, she clings to the relationship even while it destroys her.
Prone to fits of rage, the spiraling of Vivian’s temper creates a turning point for her as she looks within to find the peace she seeks.
Together, Vivian’s alcoholic brother and emotionally devoid mother serve as frequent thorns in her side,
prompting her turbulent history to often bubble up to the surface. The bubbling turns to a rolling boil
when Vivian’s brother lands himself in jail for drunken indiscretions, and not long afterward her partner
is arrested for something so atrocious Vivian cannot even fathom it. She is left pondering whether or not
to believe that the person she loves could have committed such an inexcusable crime.
Vivian’s relationships are strained to their breaking points as she continues to seek balance. She turns to
her best friend for support, only to be left empty handed and alone until she finds comradery and care
from the last person she would have thought.
Content Warnings: This book contains sexually explicit material which is only suitable
for mature readers, graphic violence, self-harm, abuse of a child by a parent, abuse by a sibling,
alcohol abuse, PTSD